Day 1,000

May 31, 2018

How can this be? 

1,000 days have passed by. 

1,000 days without my baby. 

 

Some days are easier than others. 

Less invasive thoughts and memories.

Other days, I am hanging by a thread.

A thread that dangles dangerously.

 

Day 1,000 seems to be foggy. 

Unrealistic and coarse. 

People have said over and over, 

"You two are going to be divorced!" 

 

My husband and I 

have worked endlessly. 

Giving it every effort that we have. 

 

But day 1,000

is daunting and big. 

It is as if I'm staring at my giant. 

 

My giant is mean. 

It brings me to thoughts of suicide. 

My giant brings me to thoughts of leaving. 

 

But then I remember that I can stand. 

 

I can stand on a mountain, if I have to. 

And then I can overlook this giant. 

This giant of mine.

This giant and all of his wonders. 

 

Day 1,000 has me climbing. 

Climbing a mountain that is for me. 

Climbing a mountain that no one else can see. 

 

Day 1,000 hurts. 

It hurts deeply to know that it has been this long. 

Since a kiss or hug from Bo William. 

 

And then I remember the good memories. 

The 10 months that I did have. 

 

The blissfulness and love. 

The love that is still there. 

 

And that is my ammunition-

to fight this big giant. 

Giant 1,000. 

 

My love for my son is still here. 

And that will never change. 

Not even death can steal it. 

Being two worlds apart doesn't matter. 

Because I know that he can feel it. 

 

So today, on day 1,000

I remember Bo. 

As he was on Day 1 on this earth. 

When we were together. 

Blissful and happy. 

 

You can conquer your giant. 

 

 

 

 

 

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