I’m pretty sure that everybody I know has been affected somehow by social anxiety.
Whether it be going to a party and not knowing anyone there or attending a church that you never attended before.
No matter what the case, social anxiety is something that happens in society but is rarely ever talked about.
And with social anxiety, once you add child loss in to the mixture of things, it starts to become a debilitating thing.
Starts to become,
A monster.
Your world is only as large as your house.
And then it begins to get smaller
and smaller.
You begin to relive the day that your child died over and over again.
And without being able to talk about it with somebody else who understands it or even somebody who doesn’t, just being able to get the words out that are in your head and in your mind
and your heart,
the words that are dwindling in your soul.
If not,
It becomes undeniably suffocating.
I’m beginning to see that social anxiety is not just a part of my singular life.
It became more evident when I did start talking about it that others suffered with it too.
I was afraid to commit to a church gathering because I was afraid of how awkward it was going to be.
It might not have been awkward at all but in my mind,
I begin to start building things up in my mind- as if they were skyscrapers.
And in your mind you see how incredibly intimidating it is to go out to any social gatherings.
To go to a place of worship or to a party.
These things are happening every day.
And nobody wants to talk about it.
Nobody wants to say the words,
“I have anxiety”.
Whether you like it or not,
it’s happening.
and if it’s currently happening to you,
the loss mother and the loss father.
If you’ve experienced this anxiety,
do not hold it back.
Do not hold it down.
If you try to stuff it,
it will only come back in full force.
But if you don’t try to stuff it and you talk about it,
you have anxiety about whether or not the people that are listening will receive it or listen or judge.
It’s a true thing.
It is definitely a real thing.
Anxiety sucks all around.
Anyway you slice it.
But I am here to tell you that I suffer with social anxiety.
And that I will be a non-judge mental ear,
if you suffer with it too.
If you’re not a parent of child loss,
even if you just suffer with social anxiety.
That is something that I currently deal with and we can share our experiences together and hopes to build each other up.
Because that is what we are called here to do.
Build each other up.
We are not called to be a person of Judgment. We have no relevance or reason to judge. And all honesty the only one I can judge us is Jesus himself. And the other judgment doesn’t matter. It just simply doesn’t matter.
So if you are suffering with anxiety today or any day,
know that you have somebody who also suffers with anxiety.
Sometimes it’s debilitating and whether you like to admit it or not,
if you have those thoughts you are not alone.
You are not alone.
Not even a little bit. Anxiety is hard.
Hard to talk about,
hard to admit,
hard to explain.
In general, anxiety is something that nobody likes to confront.
Because the moment you confront it,
Is the moment it gets messy,
It gets disturbing,
you mess up the pieces of trying to deal with your life
and stuff it down
and make it seem like you have a perfect fitting image
or a perfect fitting life.
It’s not that way it will never be that way.
You can do this.
You can let it out.
Express it.