Child loss is the imaginary battle of your child being with you in your mind and your child being absent physically. -Amanda Hartwig On the days that I debate is it really worth it? On the days that I ask myself over and over again should I be here? The times that I spend thinking about my son and wishing so badly that he was here with me. Those of the times that my will power is questioned. Those are the times that I am being tested. Those are the times where I have to reach deep into my grief toolbox and find a tool that can combat the invasive thoughts with. The truth is that everybody has thought of it. Even if it is not something voluntary that you have thought about even for a moment.